Elk supper and more

Hey. Did you dine with some elk tonight?

If you did, what a coincidence, so did I. It was a crazy experience.

I have been in Asheville for the past couple of days for a visit, and I went with a small group of family (my dad, my aunt, her grandson) to this place, which turned out to be. freaking. awesome.

It's just a large expanse of land where they've reintroduced elk to NC -- it was originally killed off here in the 18th century -- and they just chill and graze in this giant meadow, chewing on some grass, staring each other down, occasionally acting crunked.

We brought a picnic and sat at the edge of the meadow. A couple of female elk noticed us and came pretty close, despite a sign that said "Do not approach wildlife" (perhaps if they'd added a comma between the third and fourth words this would not have occurred.)

They were absolutely gorgeous animals, and seeing them act semi-natural was a heck of a good time. There was an aspect of guilt, though. There were cars full of people all up in their shit, (at times literally), people leaning out their windows, gawking, taking photos, making noises at them. And they are apparently so used to this that they barely seemed to notice.

That's got to be a kind of lame existence. I was trying to imagine if every time I came to sit in my lawn chair out back of my house in Raleigh, as I am wont to do, if Far-Side-style deer wearing sunglasses and hawaiian shirts and other tourist gear gathered several yards away and attempted to verbally prod me into doing something more interesting. While the image this produced was amusing in its own way, I also realized that would kind of suck.

And I know that's anthropomorphizing them in a way, but man, some lines were just not meant to be crossed! Next thing you know, people will be mating with these majestic chaps and lasses, creating a Dr. Moreau experience for a new generation. I mean, there were already several people in this meadow field getting drunk as hell, god knows what they had in mind for the latter part of the evening.

When I got back, I realized to my horror that my dad's back door had been left open. Given that earlier today my dog tried to jump in front of a moving damn car, (one of the dumbest things I've ever seen an animal do.. she was trying to play with the bastard!) I became somewhat fearful that she had escaped the house and committed suicide in some equally idiotic way. But she was sitting obediently outside, right by the front door, gladly yapping at me on my arrival.

I love that crazy kid!

At the top of the Blogger menu, there is a link that says "Monetize." I am so down for that. Please pay me $1,000 per post. Thank you. Monetize on.

I'm kind of amazed that this post is still going, so I think I am going to memorialize what has already been written by ending the post.

PS: I'm still laughing about Sarah Palin resigning as Governor.